Asia Hamilton SalsichEnglish 9October 27, 2009Humans surprisingly have many similarities to a twig. A twig, like a human, is imperfect. A twig,like a human, is unique. A twig, like a human, can break when alone.
TS) In John Jay Chapman's, "Coatesville" essay he talks about the imperfectness of humans. SD) He talks about the hurting of another human being. CM) He talks about the murder of a black man CM) He expressed how disgusted he was with the fact that such a crime was committed and really no one cared. SD) One twig is pretty much harmless, but more than one twig together can be harmful. CM) This is the same with human. CM) One person alone most likely would not have been able to perform this horrible act. CM) Sadly it took a crowd of people to make this crime significant. SD) This just proves that humans are imperfect. CM) A twig can be crooked or straight. CM) Like a person can be good or bad. CS) It just matter what direction you or the twig decide to grow in.
TS) In James Baldwin's essay "Notes of a Native son" he talks about how he regrets not having a good relationship with his father. SD) Baldwin was not a perfect son. CM) His relationship with his father failed to succeed because he never put himself in his fathers shoes.CM) If Baldwin had thought more about it at the time then maybe he would realize that most things his father did was for Baldwins own good.SD) Although his fathers love for him was expressed in different ways than Baldwin would have liked, his father did in fact show allot of love for Baldwin throughout his life.CM) His father over protected him. CM) Over protection is only a sign of caring a little to much. SD) Baldwin was not an amazing son. CM) But it is not just hid fault, it is his and his fathers fault.CM) They both pathed the direction there relationship was leading to. CM) They chose to have there relationship branch off on unwanted directions. CS) The imperfectness of a twig is crafted by a twig itself, like the imperfectness of a relationship.
Your imperfectness is inherited. Since the beginning of human kind we have been imperfect. The thing is to accept this fact. Don't be afraid to grow in a different direction than everybody else, but know whats a good direction and whats a bad direction.
Your imperfectness is inherited. Since the beginning of human kind we have been imperfect. The thing is to accept this fact. Don't be afraid to grow in a different direction than everybody else, but know whats a good direction and whats a bad direction.
2 comments:
Asia
I really like your CS. It sums the paragraph up nicely!
Something to look at again would be that your TS is "in James Baldwin (add a 's) essay he talks about the imperfectness of humans. Maybe for the 3 SD's you can talk about examples and how they relate to humans (It might make it look a little more organized)
other then that GREAT JOB
Hey Asia. First off I wanted to say that I love your opening paragraph, its a great hook. I think that maybe you could beef up your first SD because it is rather boring. Also in your first body paragraph I think you should relate your two last CMs to the last SD.
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