Asia Carter
Hamilton Salsich
Monday April 5th, 2010
Essay #17


Who Deserves My Attention?:
An Essay About What I Am Dedicated To.

1) What is the hardest thing to loose but the easiest thing to keep? 2) Friends and family, because they love you no matter what. 3) This mutual love is the reason why I dedicate myself to my friends and family. 4) I love them more than life itself.

TS) For me the most important items in my life are my friends and family. SD) I dedicate most of my time to my friends and family simply because I invest love in those that I care for. CM) Because I dedicate my time to my friends and family I am usually surrounded by people who can accept me for me. CM) My friends and family are always helping me out and watching my back and thats something you cant just ignore. SD) Thinking back to all of the past years I notice that no matter what my true friends and family are the only people I can really count on. CM) One of the most important things for me is to give back to those who have given so much to me. CM) In this messed up world there aren't many people I can trust so in this dark world I have people who love me, and I love them too. SD) The main reason I dedicate my time to my friends and family is because those two things would be the hardest things for me to lose. CM) If for some reason something should happen to take even just one of them away from me, my would come crashing down. CM) The recent death of my friend Matty made me realize that  I need to cherish my time with them because it could end any second. CS) I dedicate my time to my friends and family because they are all I need.

1) Every one is born with family, people who care because they enjoy seeing you succeed. 2) Later on you make up your group of friends, people you trust so that they can be around you at all times. 3) Keep those who care for you close to your heart because when something hurts you they will be your sheild. 4) Love your friends and family.

1. One writing issue I am continuing to work on:Correctness, I am still working on my correcting skills.  

2. One strong point I see in this piece of writing: Grabbing the readers attention. I feel I do a good job grabbing the readers attention with my TS's and opening and closing paragraphs.

3. One possible weak point I see:Unity, maybe I could try to connect my SD's better. The unity in this writing is ok but I feel it could be better.